


Quit Playing Games

by mickeymilkchild (kittleimp)



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Based on a Tumblr Post, Gen, Tumblr Prompt, penis game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 10:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4133916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittleimp/pseuds/mickeymilkchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>The Penis Game:</b> A game where people take turns in a crowded place to say the word “penis.” The person who says it loudest wins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quit Playing Games

**Author's Note:**

> "You and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and I’m really just trying to study over here so I’m gonna put an end to this by winning the game.” -[x](http://kittleimp.tumblr.com/post/121528123266/au-ideas-you-never-asked-for)
> 
> Much thanks to [Soph](http://archiveofourown.org/users/wemightaswellbestrangers) for the editing!
> 
> Unrelated: I want it noted that "Talking Penis" is a tag on Ao3. That is all.

Studying is not something that has ever been important to a Milkovich. Reading up on the person you’re about to rob? Figuring out the end game of the guy who is stealing your hard-earned addicts? That’s important. If you don’t do that, you’ll get your ass shot. Learning bullshit scientific guesses and reading shitty plays written by some long-dead gay guy is for chumps who care about getting good jobs.

Mickey finds himself reflecting on this in his university’s library.

He has two pages of an English paper typed out on the battered laptop in front of him, most of it complete bullshit about symbolism in the whiny story of Jay Gatsby. It’s shit. English is his worst subject, no contest. Still, he has to maintain a 3.5 GPA if he wants to keep the scholarship, the _Michael K. Eastwood Second Chance Scholarship_ , that got him to the damn university in the first place, so he’s got to get a good grade on this one too.

The whole paper-writing expedition is going relatively well, until the trio of boys behind him start giggling. It is at that point that Mickey finds himself wondering why he even bothers with school.

The three of them are in his Applied Statistics class. Mickey watches them when he gets bored, and he’s had them pegged since day one. Stupid. Unappreciative. Completely fucking useless.

The first guy, easily the shortest and stockiest of the three, barely ever shows up. He’s seen him snatch notes from the other two before tests to cram some knowledge in and then wonders why he’s barely passing. The tall, blonde one that always sits directly in front of Mickey spends most of his time in class doing physics homework.

The last member of the three fucking musketeers, the guy with the ridiculously red hair, at least acts like he is trying. Mickey has seen the way he frowns at the professor's words, trying to comprehend what she’s saying, and almost feels bad for him. Almost. After all, actual emotion would require caring, and Mickey hasn't got time for that.

All three have their hair buzzed into short, uniform cuts and their faces are always clean-shaven. They’re ripped, Mickey has to admire that, at least, but the amount of bumps and bulges can get a bit overwhelming at times. The redhead is the only one that carries the muscle well, actually. They’re more subtle on him. Mickey has thought about how his chest would feel under his hands or tongue. He tries not to. Boners in class can get awkward.

Really, though, they’re all absolute douchebags. The two gross looking ones are loud, crude, and immature. All through class, at least the ones they show up to, they sit and chatter incessantly about all sorts of stupid shit. Who they fucked, who they want to fuck, what to get for lunch, what it must feel like to shoot a guy... Mickey could tell them that one. He doesn’t bother saying so.

At least the ginger doesn’t talk much, but whenever he’s not scribbling down notes, he wears this aggravating fucking _smirk_ , like he knows better. That sort of attitude makes Mickey wonder exactly how rich their parents are, not to mention how much they’re paying the professor to change their grades. It makes him wish he could beat the shit out of them without risking his scholarship. Here he is, working his ass off so he can keep his place in this shitty school, and these jerkoffs are taking it for granted.

This game, however, this fucking distraction, takes his burning hatred to a new level of fiery intensity.

They’re going to ruin his English grade because of the fucking _penis game_.

“Penis,” one of them whispers through a giggle.

“Penis,” the other whispers back, only slightly louder.

Mickey considers smashing his head into the table a few times. Fighting will lose him his scholarship. He was lucky to get it in the first place, especially considering how many eligible high school dropouts there were in the Chicago area, and he really can’t afford to throw it away.

“Penis,” the ginger says softly.

 _Would it be rude to tell them to shut the fuck up?_ Mickey keeps the thought to himself, forcing his annoyance down for the moment. He’s trying so fucking hard. These assholes aren’t worth throwing everything away. The game should get boring in a few minutes anyway, so his patience will pay off in the long run.

After four more minutes of their idiocy, Mickey is ready to put their heads through a meat grinder. Not only are they not bored, but they’re also not getting any closer to someone winning the fucking game. They’re wusses. The loudest one so far is the redhead and even he can’t get above a quiet shout. Nobody is going to win with that shit.

He considers turning around and cursing them out. That, however, would almost definitely end up with Mickey’s fist breaking someone’s nose. Calm words would give him more power anyway. Judging by their hair, they’re army types, so he’d bet pretty much anything that they’d shit themselves if he suggested having a chat with their commanding officer. Mention getting them in trouble and you’ve got army kids by the balls.

Would that work, though? It won’t be worth opening his mouth if they decide to be sassy assholes about the whole thing. The two ugly ones would probably just get more obnoxious if he tried to shut them up. Hell, even Red might join in on that shit. No, there’s only one way to shut this shit down.

Mickey has to win.

He sighs and rolls his eyes, leaning back in the library chair. His back cracks in a few places against the hard plastic and he tugs on his head to crack his neck a few times. Might as well just get this shit over with. Without turning to look at the three idiots behind him, he opens his mouth.

“PENIS!”

Mickey’s voice echoes through the library. Three seats over, another student is trying desperately to hide his laughter. Two girls in the row ahead of him are openly giggling. The librarian is staring at him in disapproving exasperation and a few professors are looking intently down at their papers. His cheeks flush pink, but he takes a slow breath.

“I win,” he says, directing the comment to the boys behind him. “You three done, then?”

He still hasn’t turned around, but he doesn’t have to in order to hear books being shoved frantically into bags. Satisfied with the result, he continues to type out the bullshit that he’ll turn in as a paper. The trio of army assholes hurry down the aisle a few seconds later, muttering under their breath. Red pauses to look back at Mickey. Even now, there’s a small smirk on his face.

“Rematch soon” he promises softly and hurries after his friends.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [mickeymilkchild](http://mickeymilkchild.tumblr.com) and [kittleimp](http://kittleimp.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


End file.
